QT is a genius. End of. In the hands of any other Director, this film would have been an embarrassment, but it is the most fun you can have  … with a body count around the 100 mark. It is slick, seamless and snappy. If I was another Director, I would watch a QT film and think … “Wonder if I can change careers as I am now … slightly redundant”, unless I am Alan Parker (my favourite director (alongside Billy Wilder)), in which case … I would continue. Uma Thurman is wonderful, and Gary Oldman (my favourite baddie but he is not in this film) was a lucky guy to be married to her for a while. Lucy Liu is a coldly scary baddie and the funniest bit (it’s all funny) is where Uma takes on and kills, disembowels or chops off the limb of …  a room full of guys dressed in black in a VERY large restaurant.  One of the many nice things about Kill Bill and Kill Bill II is … it doesn’t really matter which order you watch them in. QT is a very funny man and a great story teller. If you are the sort of person who frequently says “I don’t get it” then … this is NOT your sort of Movie. QT pays homage to many film genres and specific Directors but mostly,  I think he adores Serge Leone, and QT’s use of “inappropriate” music always seems to work. I am not a great Martial arts film buff, but I am sure there are many references to Bruce Lee et al but that is for the “Chop em and disembowel em” buffsters to point out. I have seen this Movie 3 or 4 times, and I will watch it many more times.  It is a hell of a lot of fun.

It hits you like a sledgehammer. The sheer force of charisma and manic lunacy that Forrest Whitaker applies to his portrayal of Amin is incredible. The slightly brooding and tense first period of the film as Mc Avoy’s character is revealed is you realise designed to set you up for this stage entry of the most frightening and intense character seen on screen for quite some time. You are kept in a constant state of fear, the kind that wallows in the pit of your stomach as our hero gallivants around the story gradually realising exactly the situation he is in. From a naive start he rapidly grows up as he comes to deal with the ramifications of his actions and his relationship with the dictator.

Think of this movie as capturing the essence of a dictator. It is a superbly crafted emotional piece of movie impressionism. Oh and the plot? Who cares – just let the acting genius that is Forrest Whitaker take you away from the safety of your sofa.

I have only ever walked out of 3 Movies … “Bonfire of the Vanities” (Who Didn’t walk out), “Two weeks notice” and “The Da Vinci Code” … Oddly enough , Tom Hanks, an actor I quite like,  was in 2 of them.  It is almost impossible to say why I walked out but the general feeling was … I really don’t care if these people live, die or go to Disney World … “Bonfire of the vanities” … Hey guys we have this HUGE bestselling book. Let’s put a few big stars together, Willis, Hanks and Meleanie Griffiths .. We can’t miss. Oh yes you can. After about 12 minutes, in a groovy cinema in Leicester square, my arse started to hurt.  A very bad sign.  I walked out soon after….”Two weeks notice” … Hey guys, lets put together 2 big Romcom stars (without a plot) … we can’t miss. Oh yes you can … I lasted 17 minutes then … ran out of the cinema… “Da Vinci Code” … Hey guys we have this HUGE bestselling book …. I ran out in less than 20 minutes. Is it Me ?

“When Harry met Sally” … I could never review this film because it is my all-time favourite film, and I would not want to do an in depth analysis of it as that might make it lose the magic for me. It has stood the test of time for me, and I HAVE to watch it at least once a year. God knows how many times I have seen it. I am not sure when the term “RomCom” was invented but this film is a RomCom. I was never a fan of the Cary Grant romantic comedies, as they seemed to rely on people talking very-quickly and “silly” plots … “The Philadelphia Story” is a prime example. They were an attempt to copy Noel Coward’s plays like “Private Lives” and … failed because … there is only one Noel Coward. One of my regrets is that I never saw “Private Lives” with Noel Coward and Gertrude Lawrence in the lead roles(It would have been rather difficult as it was playing in the West-end more than 20 years before I was born), although I have heard some tapes from the show.  ”When Harry met Sally” is a classic two-hander, and it is almost impossible to give “Man of the match” to either Meg Ryan or Billy Crystal, as they are both magnificent in this film.  The script by Nora Ephron sizzles along, and Rob Reiner’s direction is seamless and faultless. The film contains some wonderful lines including “Nah … you pretty much want to nail them as well” and “So … Mr Zero knew before you did” … Boy meets girl … boy loses girl but …. does boy get girl back again ? …. Watch it and love it.

“Lucky Number Slevin” … No idea how it did at the box office but I kept catching bits of it on Sky and got hooked. Any film with Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley and Lucy Liu in support roles MUST be good. It will probably always be one of my favourite films that did not quite get into my top 10 … Oh no, I have just realised … it IS in my top 10 now. I suppose it is a “Caper / sting” film but to tell you that before you have seen it might ruin it … Tough. It is not only great fun, it propelled Lucy Liu to the top of my pin-up charts(I guess she doesn’t give one about that … tears streaming down my face as I write). She normally plays a  mad, Samurai  sword wielding Dominatrix or a cutesy in Charlie’s Angels but, playing a normal person, she is so wholesome, stunning and likeable and cute and sexy that, if I was married, I would immediately get divorced … just in case. The male lead, Josh Hartnett (WAY too good looking … my life would have been very different if I looked like him) is superbly cool and self-effacing, and is in nearly every scene playing against the big-hitting support cast. He has to be careful as Bruce Wills AND Ben Kingsley AND Lucy Liu very nearly steal the film from him. Ben Kingsley has played Ghandi and an evil London gangster in “Sexy beast”, and he plays an evil American gangster brilliantly in this. The plot is way too tortuous to recount but if you like tongue in cheek capers with 3,147 twists at the end … watch it. I did … about 8 times. I will never stop watching it. Every now and then you watch a film that grabs you at the beginning and holds you all the way through and you are absolutely gutted when it ends because … you never want it to end. This is that film.

Serge Leone’s “Once upon a time in America” is the SLOWEST moving film I have ever seen. It is a 222 minute film in length, and I have watched the first 35 minutes. In this time, “Noodles” (R D Niro) has walked across the road … and back. It should have been called “The film that the editor forgot to edit” … Don’t get me wrong … I love it, as indeed I loved “Once upon a time in The West” which had a (seemed like) 3 hour “beginning” where some guys are waiting on a deserted railway station for “Harmonica” (Charles Bronson) . They intend to kill him but … guess what … he kills them. I also liked “One Eyed Jacks” … directed by Marlon Brando. Apparently (I call him) Marlon went WAY over budget on his Directorial debut and was accused of being “Self indulgent”. He spent months waiting for “The right wave” in a beach scene. Even the title “Once upon a Time in America” takes 10 minutes to say so I will shorten it to “That long film about gangsters by Serge Leone, starring Robert De Niro and James Woods” … I am currently at the place where “Noodles” spots(through a peep-hole) his pin-up doing ballet … she knows he is looking so she strips and shows him her “Touche” (not sure of spelling), then he gropes a different “easy” girl in the toilet. Now … Before I die, I will watch the rest of this film. I have seen it before, and, when I have a whole day free, I will watch the rest in 48 minute sections. I can’t wait.  Ho Hum.